- @ 2 p.m.
by John Kammer
Who makes it possible for the captains of our confederation to boldly go? The elite men and women of our Redshirt Corps. These brave soldiers charge into the dangerous situations their captains somewhat arbitrarily and capriciously choose, not for fame, not for glory, but because they've signed contracts and are legally obligated.
I mean who in their right mind would accept these insane assignments? It's rare indeed when every single member of a landing party comes back to the ship alive or in one piece. I'd go so far as to say it's unprecedented.
Not like in the recruiting vids, oh no. Things are all sunshine and roses in the recruiting vids: Sure, sure, go live on a beach planet where the buxom natives live only to serve you margaritas while you enjoy the surf. They don't mention the salt vampires out there sucking you dry.
So come join the elite Redshirt Corp. Your horrible, gruesome deaths will bring glory and fame unto your captain. And if you are particularly heroic, he might even read your eulogy.