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The Dog Park is now open to visitors at 9am and closes whenever your mind stops churning over your lifetime's worth of mistakes just before you enter sleep. The City Council would like to remind everyone that the dog park has always been accessible to the public, and why haven't you been visiting there like they've been telling you for the past thirty years? What an ungrateful town we have here, the City Council bemoaned, flapping their wingless arms and fluttering around the invisible clock tower. We give them a dog park and they don't even bother to bring their dogs there.

In an attempt to drum up more interest in the community towards the Dog Park, the Night Vale Tourism Board, directed by Madeline LeFleur, is sponsoring a Picnic in the Dog Park. Every shopkeeper in town will be forced to put up a 'gone fishing' sign on their front doors, and play a recording of a ferocious feral dog barking whenever someone tries to look in the window and see if they're actually there. Every student will have their exams suspended for the day (or, at their teachers' descretion, indefinitely, because why bother learning anything anyways?). Even the statue of Lee Marvin will be encouraged to come, and given the first food and water he's been permitted in several hundred days.

So, listeners, me and the team at Night Vale Community Radio will be taking our field gear out into the Dog Park, and we will bring you information and news as it comes. Come on out for the Picnic in the Dog Park!