by Mel Harper, Mo Holkar, Wendy Prosser

It's Trans-Siberian Excess all round, as a cultural exchange visit and friendly football match at Bassethwaite's twin town in the depths of the Russian heartland go horribly wrong. Will our heroes survive would-be defectors, SMERSH agents, the last Siberian tiger and the horror of the manufactured pop group Steppes to find seven brides for seven brothers, or will they just be fiddling on the roof?